Style & Living

As we count up towards Shavuos, I am increasingly aware of time going by – time I aim to use productively. Counting up as opposed to down allowed me to be present in the process, growing each day, and not focused on an end goal/date/next. It is a lesson for life, friends, since this day is all we’ve got. I changed again over Pesach and put goals in place with a plan; goals that involve other people are not within our control. Self-actualization is. I promised new beginnings. No more rinse and repeat. I am determinedly taking massive action on things put off prior, in order to know that I can count on myself. Boundaries are so important for someone like me, who tends to put others first and become distracted. I am learning. I have been blessed with the ability to transform constantly. The many diverse wonderful people who seek me out keep me on my toes. The accountability is important. Working on a singular focus is not natural for me. So I go out of my comfort zone, willingly and repeatedly. Real growth is never easy. We invest our time, our heart, and our money in what matters most. Therapies, treatments, potions, self-care, exercise facilities, coaches are not cheap or easy, but well worth it.

I don’t do almost. Almost people are the ones who repeatedly miss the boat. From a song: I’ll sing you a song that you feel. A wise colleague pinned me in a moment. He told me, “You give people significance, make them feel important, so they can imagine hope.” Hmmm. Well, it’s real. From an ad: What comes from the soul you can’t fake, can’t practice, it just is.

I read some amazing books recently: Hold Me Tight (EFT therapy for couples) and a couple of John Gottman’s books. They changed me, as did The 5 Love Languages. I have and continue to work so hard on myself in order to be the best life partner I can be when I am blessed to stand under a second chupah.

Nobody tells me what I must write about. The editors give me a free hand and allow me to write about any topic I choose. But honestly, I’ve had enough of the articles I’ve been writing. I’ve written a column about the war every week since October 7. As I sit down to write my 26^th column, I ask myself: How long can this go on? Who would have expected that we would still be fighting this war nearly six months later? If only I could write a different kind of article.

Mazal tov! Our daughter is engaged! Baruch Hashem! Everyone appreciates a simchah, especially now. The light of a simchah shines bright during these trying times. We feel very blessed. But making a simchah these days is far from simple.

Every Purim morning, after hearing the Megillah, we walk to our neighbor’s home where they set up their annual Mishloach Manos street café. Below the sign bearing the name of their “café,” while wearing their personalized aprons, they serve us (and all who pass by) a piece of cake and a hot cup of coffee made to order. Café “customers” can relax on the comfortable chairs the neighbors have placed on the street, as they socialize with their friends. This is how we start our Purim every year. We begin early, when things are quiet and serene, working our way up to the Mishloach Manos frenzy until it’s time to eat the s’udah.