Dating Today

It seems you can’t turn on the radio or television without people apologizing for their past behavior or speech – even if they don’t remember doing/saying it or if it was taken out of context – every day. Sometimes this can be a good thing. But, in my opinion, I think people apologize too much. And half the time they weren’t even guilty of doing the act of saying the words they are apologizing for, but someone misunderstood or was offended. But I’m not here to get political or PC about the issue of apologizing. I’m referring to plain old everyday interaction with people. I’m guilty of it, as well. Case in point: I was standing in the checkout aisle of the grocery store, minding my own business, when someone bumped into me with her wagon. “Sorry,” I say. But why am I apologizing? She bumped into me. I was standing motionless next to my cart online. Her cart “collided” with me. I wasn’t running around, with a blindfold on, bumping into people. “It’s okay,” the offender tells me. Wait, what just happened?

I know that things like this do happen, because my sister received a call about my niece, before my niece graduated from high school.

Dear Goldy:

I want to start out by saying that I like your column and enjoy reading about the different issues that you and the readers write about that relate to dating, but I do have to ask: Who are you to give advice or to even write a column where people ask you advice? How can you sit at home and decide to write whatever opinion you have and expect people to listen to you? Like I wrote: Who are you?

Dear Goldy:

I’ve been dating a long time. There were times I thought “this is it,” but the women didn’t think I was Mr. Right. I’m not here to force anyone to like me, but sometimes I think the women themselves don’t know what they want. They have a list of what they want in a husband, and if a guy has all of them, then they complain about the packaging. “He’s what I’m looking for, it’s just not him.” If you give them what they want, they still don’t know. How about if we all stop looking at what we want and start looking at what’s in front of us?

There are some things we have control over in our lives: who our friends are, the clothes we wear, what profession we’re in. But there are things in life you can’t choose, and one is your family. We’ve all heard the phrase, “You can choose your friends, but not your family.” This letter is all about that topic, but it’s not what you may think. No one is complaining that he/she is or isn’t related to someone for shidduch purposes. This is a letter having to do with family that really has no bearing whatsoever regarding who the person dating is. If you ask me, it’s ridiculous. And you’ll read my response stating exactly that.

Dear Goldy:

It sounds weird to begin a letter like this, but I will. I’m a Jew and I’m not embarrassed by our mitzvos or minhagim. When my co-workers said I was too young and never had the chance to live or be young and crazy when I got engaged, I took it all with a smile. They didn’t understand that we get engaged and married young. We’re married with kids by the time they figure out they want to settle down. Do they know something we don’t? Is it better to get married when we’re older? Shouldn’t we know who we are before “I am” is “forced” to become “us,” and before “us” becomes a family?